Don’t Press that Mine Turtle Review: Click, Click, Boom!

Disclaimer: Don’t Press that Mine Turtle was provided for free by VR Distribution, although the writing and opinions of this article are my own.

Big Potato are no strangers to party games. In fact, you’ve probably played one of their creations without even realising it. Their bread and butter is small, mass-market games that are portable, easy to learn, and usually good for a laugh. Don’t Press That Mine Turtle (which I’ll just call Mine Turtle from here on out) is their spin on a modern, slightly more structured version of Truth or Dare.

From my plays, I can confirm it’s classic Big Potato through and through. Mine Turtle is small, simple, and full of laughs, though it might not be for everyone. Still, with a giant plastic turtle ready to explode at any moment, it’s hard not to be at least a little curious.

How to Play

If you’ve ever been stuck at a sleepover with nothing to do and ended up playing Truth or Dare, then you already know the general idea. Mine Turtle takes that familiar formula, throws in an adorable yet deeply suspicious turtle bomb, and adds a deck full of dares, truths, and challenges to make things even more ridiculous.

The fun begins when you switch the turtle on (batteries not included). It cheerfully greets you with a “hello” straight out of Worms 2. It’s both cute and mildly threatening. From there, you’ll take turns picking a card from your hand and targeting someone to complete it.

As mentioned, there are three types of cards:

Truth cards ask questions like “What’s your biggest regret?” or “What’s my biggest red flag?” Perfect for learning a little too much about your friends.

Dare cards make you do something ridiculous, like perform your own eulogy or, yes, pick your nose and eat it. (Please don’t actually do that. Or do. Just don’t tell me about it.)

Challenge cards are all about fast reactions and bad ideas. You might have to pick up the turtle bomb without using your hands, beat the current player in an arm wrestle, or try to nail a tongue twister in record time.

For any of these cards, the chosen player can always refuse the challenge and press the big red button on top of the turtle instead. The harder the card, the more presses they have to make. If they go through with the card and succeed, those presses get passed on to you.

Most of the time the turtle just lets out a loud, ominous click, building tension one press at a time. But every so often it explodes, ending the game on the spot. Whoever pressed it last loses, and everyone else gets to laugh at their misfortune.

If that sounds too anticlimactic, the rulebook suggests raising the stakes by adding a punishment for whoever blows up the turtle. There’s also a variant where instead of choosing your target, you always pick the person on your right. It’s a smart tweak that stops players from ganging up on each other, especially in smaller groups.

Handle with care (or don’t)

Seeing a giant turtle toy on the box, my brain immediately regressed to childhood and went, “I want that.” And if that’s you, you won’t be disappointed. The turtle itself is great fun, even outside the game. Much like Operation or Crocodile Dentist, there’s enjoyment in simply taking turns pressing the button and hoping you’re not the one it explodes on.

As for Mine Turtle, it does exactly what it sets out to do: update Truth or Dare for modern audiences. The artwork is simple but humorous, and the cards range from mild to pretty risqué. They’ve done a good job curating them so most will work in any setting, and they’re a nice alternative to having to come up with truths or dares on the spot.

One clever touch is the inclusion of blanks on some cards for you to fill in. A dare might read “Yell [you decide] as loudly as you can,” which still gives you room to be creative without having to think of an entire action yourself.

The biggest question mark about Mine Turtle is who you play it with. I played it with my family, and while most of the cards were great for that setting, a few felt a little too invasive. One dare asks you to text or DM your ex or crush, another lets someone write something on your face. With just us, those didn’t quite fit the vibe. But it’s easy to imagine how, with a few drinks and a group of friends or even on a stream or game show, those same cards could be an incredible amount of fun.

That’s the big bold asterisk with Mine Turtle. It’s only as fun as the group you play it with. Playing with family, I was comfortable enough to do the silly stuff, and we had a great time. But at a board game meetup with mostly strangers, there’s no way I’d be committing to half those cards.

It’s also a game that relies on the novelty of its cards. If you play it too often and start seeing the same ones come up, it definitely loses some of its spark. You probably don’t want to bring it out every week, but as an occasional party pick or something to break out once a month when you’re in the mood for something silly, it absolutely works.

At the end of the day, if you hear “Truth or Dare with a ticking turtle bomb” and that sounds fun to you, then you already know whether this game is for you.